Procrastination.

So, yes, witness me procrastinating when I really ought to be working on one of the four essays I have due next week. November is tough.

I'm glad that the semester is nearly ending. Though I've gotten something out of the classes I'm doing this term, I feel I've digressed a bit from where I want to go. The Theory and Practice of Non-Violence course had been interesting, but, as far as I can tell, not really applicable to my further studies of comics and graphic novels. I'm sure I will find applications for the knowledge, but I will be happy to be done the course. That said, I'm deeply into Gandhi's autobiography right now, purely on the strength of his writings that I read for the course. Fantastic reading and philosophy.

Pop Culture, it has to be said, has been a bit of a letdown. I know I couldn't have expected it to be watching movies and TV all the time, but this theory-heavy course is one I won't miss. It's odd, though, as much of what I've learned is eminently applicable to my research on comics. I think the fact that it's a 3-hour night course on Mondays, making my Mondays 11 hours long, may have coloured my perception of the course. And again, it's Dr. Holland, with whom I had Concepts of Culture last year. He's a nice guy, and knows his stuff really well, but I sometimes have a hard time following where he's going with his lectures. Ah well. I suppose exposure to various pedagogical styles is part of the education of a hopeful professor too.

Anthropology is great. I really like this class, almost to the point that I considered doing a 5th year of undergrad so I could minor in it. Then I realized exactly how much that would cost, and reconsidered. I'm happy having this basic understanding of genetics and evolution, much as all the lay physics books I've read have given me a basic understanding of that. At the beginning of the course I was extremely worried, as it's completely different from any other course I've done, but I'm really glad I stuck with it. Great prof, great subject matter, interesting assignments and labs. Who'd have thought I'd be this interested? I think next year, if I can manage to fit it in, I'll do the first year cultural anthropology class to balance out this year's physical anthropology. We'll see.

So, those are the three that'll be done this term. Next term I'll be replacing them with Introduction to Critical Theory, Gender and Sexuality, and Philosophy of Aesthetics. It's an extremely theory-heavy year for me this year. I've been thinking about next year already, and along with the three 4th year courses I'm required to take, I think American Lit, Canadian Lit, and Shakespeare would make a cool year. I do have to do a couple of language courses, most probably Latin, but that will depend on what I can fit in over the summer.

Speaking of summer, I'm applying for the undergraduate research award again. I applied last year with a proposal on the history of graphic spiritual literature, focussing on Emblems in the 17th century. I think this year I'm going to go a little more modern, as I'm beginning to realize that's where my interests lie, and propose a paper on Messianic themes in modern comic books. If I don't manage to get the award, I'll likely use that topic for the 4th year Honours essay that I'm going to do. In place of one 4th year course, I have the option of taking a semester and writing an essay instead. I like the thought of that.

So, there we go, a little summation of the first half of my second year back. Not quite as exciting as last year, not quite as many insights, but I think that's because I'm stuck into it now. It's not new, it's school. Not that I don't love it anymore, but I think I'm ready to get on with graduate work and finish this undergrad stuff. Though the grad students I've talked to all seem far more stressed out than I am. What am I getting myself into....?

I know, I know...

...it's been a while, and my frequency is clearly not as great as it was last year. Honestly, I have to blame it on my health. The recent discovery of my bad eyesight (which has made my reading suck, and indeed, even as I type I can feel the headache starting), compounded with a recently diagnosed digestive problem have made my first month of studies less than stellar, to be sure. But these things are sorting themselves out, and I'm finally getting into my classes. Hopefully it's not too late. I've already had one midterm, which I can't for sure say I did really well on, and I've got an essay, a presentation, and a midterm next week that I'm feeling only marginally prepared for. Certainly gets the adrenalin going though, doesn't it?

I spent much of yesterday doing comparative readings of biblical psalms (are there non-biblical psalms?) and poetical interpretations of them from the 16th century. And they were fascinating. Some far more in depth than others, some far more accessible than other. Really interesting, which I'm very glad of, as the 16th c. readings I have done so far have been less than compelling. On the other side of things, I'm really getting into my physical anthropology course. I've always had a layman's interest in science, especially theoretical physics. This, I'm sure, is fueled by that branch of psychedelic philosophy/eastern thought that seeks the origins of things, and the hidden dimensions of things. Quantum physics, at least in my tiny understanding of it, seems to point to similar things. That said, evolutionary biology is certainly not something I had any knowledge of, though now I do, if somewhat superficially. I get now on a very basic level how genetics works, how evolution works, and what it means to human beings. A completely different pedagogical paradigm, lots of memorization, and no essays (which is staggering, really), but interesting nonetheless. We'll see how this one goes.

Religious studies (Theory and Practice of Non-Violence) is slowly but surely getting better. I was having trouble with all the studies of violence we had to read, but we're now getting more into the spiritual and philosophical bases for non-violence, much more up my alley. Pop Culture, too, is getting slightly more interesting, though I think the course would benefit greatly in not running from 7 'til 10 on a Monday night. What a ridiculous time for any course, let alone one that deals in such abstracts as this one. The last course I'm waiting for to grab me is 18th Century Literature. I'm just not there yet, though we've just been assigned an essay, so hopefully I'll be able to pull something interesting out.

I was going to try to do at least one comic book-related paper for each class this year, in preparation for my focusing on something (see below), but now I'm re-thinking the idea. Maybe I ought to focus more on the specific milieu of each course, immerse myself in that, rather than superimposing my own ideas on each course. Or maybe not. I don't know. It all comes down to my needing to decide on something to focus on for graduate work. I'm slowly getting to it, but again I'm flustered by the idea that graphic novels may not be a valid basket in which to put all my eggs, so to speak. I'm interested in studying spiritual graphic literature from many time periods (medieval picture bibles, emblems, recent graphic novels), but I'm not sure that this could be channeled into a graduate degree. Or maybe it could, maybe I'm selling myself short. I have to admit that my health problems this last month or so have really impacted my self-confidence about school. I've been plagued far more with thoughts that perhaps I'm not really cut out for this. Though Tara, wonderful, supportive wife that she is, sat me down one day while I was feeling particularly down, and told me that not only was I cut out for this, but that I was "built for this." That's nice. Purposeful. I'll just have to hang onto that, I suppose.

One Week In.

I know, I know, I haven't written or called. What's that old postcard say? "So I haven't written much lately. So what? Neither has Shakespeare!"

(Someone got paid to come up with that.)

So I've been back just about a week now. Here's the breakdown. Monday is Anthropology 1Z03 - Being and Becoming Human at 11:30, 18th c. Lit at 2:30, Theory and Practice of Nonviolence at 4:30, and Pop Culture from 7 to 11. Yeah. I know.
Tuesday is pretty nice. Anthro tutorial at 10:30. Wednesday is 16th c. Lit at 9:30, Nonviolence tutorial at 10:30, Anthro at 11:30, 18th c. Lit at 2:30, and Nonviolence at 4:30.

Thursday I have no classes. (Yay!)

Friday is 2 hours of 16th c. Lit, done by 11:30.
Mondays are hard. Wednesdays are hard. The rest is pretty good.

In order, here's how I'm feeling about them so far:

Anthropology is interesting. It's not quite what I'd thought it would be. I figured on dealing with cultures and societies, but this particular course is more about evolution and genetics. Still, seems like it'll be interesting, and it's a first year course, so I'm not too worried about the work load. That said, it seems that there's going to be a bit of a biology aspect to is, which I have absolutely no knowledge of. But a challenge is always welcome, right?
18th c. Literature looks to be interesting, much like all my other English classes. The biggest surprise was when the prof walked in, and I thought she was another student.
Nonviolence is a religious studies course, another of my electives. For our first essay I've opted to take a vow of silence one day a week and write about how it impacts my life. The subject matter is pretty interesting, so I have high hopes for this course. The professor gets quite worked up over some of the material, which is interesting to watch.
Pop Culture was the one course I was kind of dreading. I have the same professor that I had for Concepts of Culture last year, and I found him a bit difficult to follow. However, even after my ridiculously long day this week, the course was good. His lecture seemed far more coherent than the previous ones, and the subject matter is interesting. High hopes, if I can manage to stay awake.
16th c. Literature is yet another English course. Lots of reading, lots of interpretation. Love it.

That all aside, I'm pretty happy to be back at school. I'm still somewhat concerned about my grade average, but I was concerned about it all last year as well, so that hasn't changed. Once I've got a couple of weeks under my belt, and an assignment or two imminent, I'm sure it'll feel like old times. But at this point I've been out for a long enough time that it still feels a little weird.

The other interesting thing about returning to school is that I have friends now. I keep running into people, asking how their summer was, what courses they have. It's odd. I'm pretty much used to keeping to myself, but now I have peers.

That's all I've got for now. I was sure I had other things I was going to write about, but they've gone out of my head for the time being. Perhaps tomorrow I'll remember them, on my day off (YAY!).

Just Over a Week.

I find I am a bit nervous about returning to school next week. I've got all my books, signed my life away yet again, finished work for the summer. I'm worried that I won't like my classes. That I won't be able to maintain the average I've got. That I'm really not cut out for all this.

I know, I know. It's kind of whingy for a grown man to be worrying over these things.

But I am.

From the "Tooting My Own Horn" File

I know, I know, it's been a while, but really, I'm enjoying the lack of reading and essay writing, just for a little while. Today I found out I have received the Gladys Richards Scholarship, a $2000 award given to, as the McMaster course calendar says, students "who, in the judgment of the Departments, have demonstrated outstanding academic achievement." Only 2 are awarded each year. I feel silly saying it, but it's not about the money really, is it? Out of all the 2nd year students in English or English/History, I was one of two who were recognized this way. That's freaking amazing. Validation from peers and professors is awesome.

I'll try to write more shortly. Schedule should be coming my way soon. Then I'll have lots to talk about!

Summertime Blues....

Yes, yes, I know I haven't written much lately. Work is pain.

I have finished my summer class (Biblical Traditions in Literature), and I've posted one of my essays to my comics blog, here.

Once things quiet down a bit from work, I'll be getting on with my big analysis of Morrison and Quitely's "Flex Mentallo". Peter Daly's "Literature in the Light of the Emblem" is first on the reading list, then perhaps Frye's "The Great Code". That may be ambitious for one summer, but we'll see. There's so much to read and so little time!

I have picked out my courses for next year, but there's a real dearth of choice in the English department. I found out that one of my favourite professors was handed his walking papers, along with many other part-time staff. As such, I think I have only 2 or 3 classes that can actually be called "English" classes. I've branched out, doing some philosophy, religious studies, and even a first-year anthropology class. I figure it should make for an interesting year.

This too shall pass.

I am having a hard time with work this summer. I'm not sure if it's just me, or if things really are worse this year (I'm doing the same job, post setting, that I did last summer), but I feel like I've been chosen as the whipping boy for the crew. I spend most of my evenings and weekends fighting to not be angry or depresses, but by the time Friday rolls around, I feel battered and bruised. I'm not sure what to do about it.

However...

...when I get to school on Mondays and Wednesdays, I get a cup of coffee and a chocolate bar and I walk over to the lobby of Chester New Hall South (the English department is on the 3rd floor), and I sit down and it all washes away. Through last term I would sit here during my breaks and do homework, but invariably someone from a class would stroll by and we'd end up chatting for a while, having those cerebral conversations that, really, would sound pretentious anywhere else.

(Let's be honest, they sound pretentious here,too. English students love pretense!)

Of course, other times it would be idle banter, and still other times would be continuations of discussions we'd had in a recent class.

I feel very at ease, sitting in that lobby. Like the outside world can't hurt me anymore.